May 18, 2010

Costume Institute Gala: Theme Confusion

The following ladies are those that either took the Met Ball's theme of “American Woman: Fashioning A National Identity,” or were like me and had no idea what it meant!

Alright, not all of the following dresses fall under my brief description, some of them I just dislike or consider exceptionally boring, like the three above. Two are just not attractive and one lacks any thing spectacular and is rather typical. All three ladies are wearing Stella McCartney, naturally, and I pretty much dislike all three. Stella's has potential to be a nice, simple black dress, if it weren't for that train she's stepping all over. Liv's reminds me of something I passed up on in 1998 for a formal, without the unnecessary train. And I find Kate Hudson, although the nicest of the three, boring as hell. Considering the event, I expected more from her. It's pretty, but fucking boring-- and again it has some kind of bride element attached. This girl needs to find herself another groom.

Renee Zellweger needs to stop wearing Carolina Herrera, for one it's expected, and two she's starting to make me feel unwanted disdain against the designer. Pick a new silhouette, a new designer, stop tainting my dream mom!

I'm not sure the theme MIA was trying to parlay in her gold chain-mail Alexander Wang dress, but I do not mind it. Perhaps it's due to her finally releasing a new track (which I just put up), "XXXO" and I'm really enjoying it. Plus she's wearing two looks in one, when she's sick of the gold embroidery, she can take it off and rock the Angelina Jolie look with that strapless black leather dress.

WTF!?!?!! Why does Leighton Meester look like a flower child (or a bad Drew Barrymore impersonator)? I get it, the flower power movement was a big one in American History, but I'm quite certain you could have done your face, body, and hair justice and still get your thoughts of the theme across. This Marc Jacobs dress is just wrong, I feel like I'm tripping.

Kirsten Dunst seemed to have taken the theme to a that place Marie Antoinette ran away to when trying to avoid her husband and his mistress. You know where I'm referring to... in the movie, when Kirsten wore dresses that sort of looked like this (only with a slightly longer hem, but booties included, I'm sure). This also reminds me of the Ralph Lauren gown that Taylor Swift wore, which I liked, but for some reason did not save a photo of it. Much like her less embellished counterpart, I like Kirsten's Rodarte gown... booties included.

Dear Kristen Stewart, if the fabric chest horns didn't work for Madonna, why on earth would you think it'd work for you? I get it, you're trying to be gothic and appeal to your Twilight fans, but this Chanel Haute Couture "dress" looks unfinished.

I'd like someone to remind Eva Longoria Parker, that although she may play a former "supermodel" on Desperate Housewives, she is short. Thus this silver embroidered, platinum Marchesa column dress with short hem was NOT flattering on her. At all. Perhaps she should have just kept walking down the carpet, so that photogs were only able to get shots of her backside, since the train of this dress was beautiful. The front, not so much. This is fashion mulleting at its worst!

Since Alexa Chung is some kind of fashion darling and probably a muse to many designers, I'm hesitant to say that I dislike what she's wearing; as if it may kill my fashion-cred or something absurd. And although I appreciate that she opted for something other than the expected with her 3.1 Phillip Lim pant suit, I dislike it. She looks like Colonel Sanders chic younger sister. With that said, if I had to wear this suit for those shoes, I would. Over and over again. Although I'd probably actually wear it, instead of lay it on my shoulders, because I am not James Dean.

Why Carey? Why? I expected so much from you, and you and your modified Miu Miu dress have failed me. The least you could do is look like you care that you're hurting my feelings and take your hands out of your floral rebrodé lace pockets. Maybe someone else will cheer me up...

...Nope. I love a ruffled skirt as much as the next girl, but this colour, the fabric, the black ribbon of her Giambattista Valli gown are all too feminine for a girl who looks like she just walked onto the red carpet from the gym.

First off, Vera Famiga is very attractive. I just watched Orphan the other day and was overly flattered that I've been compared to such a beautiful woman, granted I don't see the similarity-- but I'll take it! What I won't take is her baby blue Sophie Theallet dress. It's too western themed for my tastes and I don't find it particularly flattering, although the colour is great especially paired with her baby blues, but that black ribbon trim just throws everything off.

It's very possible I would have liked this YSL dress, even though the black embroidery looks like a map to Pleasureland; But who the eff did you let do your makeup!?!?! Clearly LeAnn Rimes old MUA got a new job. PS who wouldn't love to own a map to Pleasureland, especially one you can wear without insulting your partners skills?

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